


Endlessly is Ending

by Rasiaa



Series: Teddy and Victoire [8]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Addiction, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, F/M, Gen, Growing Up Together, Harry Potter Next Generation, M/M, Prompt Fic, Rape/Non-con Elements, Slow Burn, The rape is not between main characters
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-01
Updated: 2018-08-01
Packaged: 2019-06-19 23:28:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,757
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15521082
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rasiaa/pseuds/Rasiaa
Summary: This is a story of choices. And experience. And figuring out where I fit in through all of that.





	Endlessly is Ending

**Author's Note:**

> **If you leave a comment with a prompt, I will read and review any story of your choice, provided that I'm familiar with the fandom. See the list of stuff I've written for to get an idea.**  
> .  
>  This title was originally dedicated to a Bleach fanfic that I have since tossed and will probably never work on again. So I gave it to this.  
> The original idea was to write 100k in a week. For anyone who knows me or at least my updates, you'd know that I didn't make it. In fact, this chapter is all I've got at the moment. I have a rough outline for where this is going but it's still going to be about 100k + and that's a lot. Each chapter will be at least 7k. This will have 13 chapters total, perhaps an epilogue.  
> The summary doesn't do the fic justice but it's all I could think of so it's subject to change.  
> This fic has a lot of headcanon. Obvious ones include:  
> Teddy is in Gryffindor. He was adopted by Harry and Ginny. Dominique and Louis are Irish twins. The Next Gen is generally as much of a mess as my high school class was. They're functioning in today's world so expect them to act like it.  
> I have so many words for this fic and none of them are coming to me right now. Enjoy

I once read a story where a young boy's mother got very sick. He prayed. For days and days and days, to no avail. It claimed her life anyway. And after she died, he made one thousand paper cranes while sitting next to her grave. Every single year he did this for the anniversary, and every year it took a little more time. Sixteen years after she died, his wife told him to stop. He had more important things to do than fold paper. So he stopped at her request, and he died six days later.

It stays with me, and to this day I cannot figure out why.

It's not like it has any real bearing on my life, after all. My mother is still alive; I am unwed.

And yet, there seems to be something about it that keeps me captive.

I think it's time I figured it out.

…

"Teddy, dear? Can you come help me for a moment?"

I glance up, but my best friend has already responded to his grandmother's call. I sigh, putting my puzzle piece on the ground. It's not fun if he's not here, and knowing Andromeda, this means our time together has come to an end.

Sure enough, Teddy wanders back into the living room a minute later with a regretful look on his face. "Vic-"

"It's okay," I say quickly. I stand and turn to the fireplace.

"Vic…"

I reach for the Floo powder and hop into the fireplace. "Shell Cottage!"

Teddy looks miserable.

…

I never knew what it was that made my father pick up smoking.

When I get back into my home, Dom looks up briefly but dismisses me quickly enough. Louis doesn't even bother to glance my way; if Dom had deemed the noise important, he would have, but she didn't, so he doesn't.

My Irish twin siblings are strange that way.

The kitchen is bare. I find this odd, but there really isn't anything I can do about that. I glance outside, and there is my father, smoking. He looks at ease, though pained, and I have to wonder at the events that must have occurred while I was with Teddy.

I head to my room.

…

I know how my family works.

I am the oldest except for Teddy. I know I will go to my grandmother's for dinner on Sunday, and I will see my cousins, aunts, and uncles. I know I never see my mum's side of the family except for aunt Gabrielle, and even then, she is a rare sight. I only really know her because she sends me gifts every once in a while. I know that Teddy is adopted and that makes him different. I know that my uncle Harry wants him to be included more, but for some reason, his plea goes unanswered.

This is what I know.

…

My mother comes to find me later that night. I stare out my window at the beach, where the seagulls roam over the sand and the long grass sways. It's not a beautiful beach like the ones in Gabrielle's postcards. It is a beach where people go to die.

If my mother ever knew that I thought that, she would probably throw a fit.

Teddy knows a lot of things. His grandmother is very ill and so he explores libraries and attics and old places, places he likely shouldn't be. And because he's my very best friend, he tells me all about his adventures and that's how I know about places where people die.

Mum sits on the other side of my windowsill and joins me in looking through the glass, which is cracking in the corner and is a vague brown color.

"We 'ave to clean zis," she murmurs, running a single finger down the side of the wood.

People say I sound like her. French.

I don't answer her, which I guess is okay. She doesn't seem to want an answer anyway.

"Dinner," she says instead.

I don't answer that, either.

"Teddy's grandmother is dying," Mum eventually reveals, voice solemn. "He will need you."

I close my eyes. "I know," I say.

"'arry will be taking him in. Papers to adopt are already drafted."

"Good," I whisper. I clear my throat and repeat myself. "Good."

Mum reaches out and runs her hand over my head, curling a lock of my white hair around her finger.

…

Andromeda Black dies on a Wednesday, Teddy moves to Grimmauld Place with the Potters on Thursday, and there is a funeral on Friday. It's very fast. Teddy says nothing.

I go to stay with the Potters for the foreseeable future on Saturday, simply to be with Teddy.

James is an overly excitable child, and all he does is laugh and smile and wear Teddy out. Lily is practically a baby and babies cry. Albus is a ghostly child, so he is not really much of a problem, but he is another face, and sometimes he scares us because he is so quiet.

I take Teddy into the city.

London is not a safe place for children, and we are alone.

I pull Teddy into a park, and we climb onto a bench and we sit. Muggle children surround us, playing their games and their parents sit on the other benches, most of them with books or newspapers, others with laptops.

I know about those. Daddy has one, but it sits and collects dust.

He told my mum that he needed it for work. I've heard her say some pretty rude things to him since then.

Teddy is a blank slate, staring out at the horizon line. There is a lot of things to see there; trees stand tall and there's a whole collection of buildings behind them. They vary in size, shape, color, and this is London. This is where Teddy lives now. It is too busy.

Andromeda was a harsh woman. I do not entirely understand why he misses her so much, but I think that it is not her so much that he misses, but rather the security that came with her life. She had a home, and she was a blood family member, and now, Teddy has neither.

A Muggle child kicks a ball in our direction. It hits my knee, and I gasp in surprise. My magic reacts, and it's an instinctual thing. The ball flies back to the boy and hits him back. He cries out.

I don't know what the Muggles saw. What I do know is the boy's father hones in on us and starts charging in our direction.

"Teddy!" I hiss, and grab his arm again. He looks at me, at my wide eyes, and he seems to know that something is wrong. He looks around. The Muggle man is closer now, and I can see his face; it is not a kind one.

We take off. Teddy winds up dragging me through a back road, where the amount of people thins. It eventually opens to a clear field, a large highway not far in front of us. We can hear the cars better than our own breaths.

Children cannot outrun grown-ups, not really. He catches up to us pretty quickly and yanks at my hair. I cry out. Teddy yells and swings at the man. It is a fruitless gesture. The man shoves Teddy aside and I can see him fall. He scrapes his knee and there's a burn from the dirt on his arm, but Teddy seems unaffected.

"Watch it, kid!" the man shouts. Teddy cowers automatically, and it is then that the man returns his attention to me. "Stupid bitch," he hisses, "messing with my boy - well, you'll learn, won't you?"

What he does hurts.

Teddy screams and beats the man's arms and back, and I cry and cry and cry.

I'm covered in blood when he's done, the edge of my dress frayed and wrinkled from where he'd pulled at it. My legs hurt and I can barely stand.

The man huffs at me in irritation and stalks off, messing with his jeans.

There are bruises on my hips, and I feel dizzy and sick.

What had he done?

"Vic?"

Teddy is crying, face broken. He must understand what happened more than I do. He's older; surely he must know. I stare at him, trying to calm my racing heart.

"Oh, my Victoire," he whispers, and reaches for me. It is the first time that he hesitates.

I cannot think of a safer place than in his arms.

…

I never tell my mum.

It doesn't really seem to matter, does it?

Teddy and I wash my dress in a nearby bathroom, having locked the door behind us. There's no hiding the tears, but we were in a park anyway.

We never speak of it after that.

It becomes this dirty little secret.

…

I'm older, now, nearly nine.

Teddy has lived here for over a year.

I moved back home after a month, but I'm over here every other day so I might as well not have. I have my own bedroom and everything, right next to Teddy's.

Ginny makes these little cakes that Teddy adores for his tenth birthday. They're blue and white, with buds of bright pink frosting. Since pink is Teddy's favorite color, he laughs and smiles and hugs Ginny when he sees them.

There's over a hundred of them. It's impressive.

Everyone comes over to Grimmauld Place. Everyone seems so alive. My grandmother smothers Teddy with love. There's a lot of yelling and laughing and shrieking. There are many smaller children and they are all high on sugar.

We escape eventually.

Teddy and I go up to the attic. There's still feathers up here from the old hippogriff. I pull one from the wall and hand it to Teddy, who takes it with a smile. "Thanks, Vic," he says. I find a ball of yarn and unroll a bit of it, cutting it free on a loose nail in the floor. Teddy watches me tie the feather to the string. I tie the two ends together. Teddy leans down and I hang it over his neck. He laughs and kisses my forehead.

We sit together. Teddy has more control over his magic than he lets on. He conjures small animals and we laugh at their antics together, the little things that look like they're made from stars. They dance and jump through the boxes. I lean on Teddy's shoulder and he smiles at me again.

"Thanks," he says.

I don't have to ask for what. I know how much he needs the quiet.

I need it too. It's too loud with our whole family around. The Weasleys are a rambunctious bunch, never able to master the art of silence. Uncle George brought noise makers today, too.

Once Fred and James and Louis got those, there was no returning to quiet.

Teddy sighs. The little creatures trot up to us and the cat curls into his lap. He smiles slightly, running his hand over its back. It starts to purr.

"You're amazing," I tell Teddy.

His cheeks flare pink.

"Really," I insist. "How do you do that?"

"It's just magic," he says.

…

Lily loses a tooth a day later. For some reason, that becomes a big celebration, too.

Teddy retreats into himself that day.

I feel like I'm the only one who notices him some days.

I find him in his room, sitting on the floor in front of his mirror.

Teddy has pink hair.

"What did you do?" I ask, in awe. This has never happened before.

He jumps a little, turning around. "Oh," he says, "it's you."

"Who else?" I ask, sitting next to him. I nudge his shoulder. "How'd you do it?"

"I just did," he says. He points to a picture he has of his mother. She has pink hair. "I thought about her, and it happened. I don't know."

"Magic," I say. He laughs, rolling his eyes.

"Obviously," he says. "What else?"

I shrug.

Teddy's mum is winking at the camera. Whoever took it must've really had her attention.

She's in Grimmauld Place. I recognize the hallway behind her. Sort of.

I know that the Potters redid the house after they moved in here. I don't know what it used to look like, but I know now that it's a lot more welcoming than what I can see in this photo.

"I got a new puzzle yesterday," Teddy says suddenly.

"We'd better solve it then," I respond. He grins.

…

We're on the beach.

Mum made crepes and they have strawberries from our garden. Louis is delighted. Dom is not.

For some reason, she's decided she doesn't like them. I think she's stupid. Daddy thinks she's stubborn.

There's a yellow flower in the grass. I pick it up, twirling it a little.

"Flowers only enhance beauty," Daddy says, surprising me. I turn around. He takes the flower and weaves it into the waterfall braid I have with a smile. He has a sad sort of smile on his face. "Smile," he says, and holds up his camera.

I smile. The camera flashes and when it lowers, Daddy still has a sad look.

"What's wrong?" I ask.

"Nothing, sweetie," he says.

But he pulls out a cigarette and walks off. I know he was lying to me.

…

Teddy gets his Hogwarts letter and starts crying.

The happy smiles on Ginny and Harry's faces fall in shock. Ginny rushes forward and pulls him into her arms. "What's wrong?" she asks, desperate. Harry looks at me, lost.

I know what's wrong. He told me the other day.

Teddy has never liked being alone.

…

I go home.

Daddy is staring at a letter when I step into the kitchen and Mum is humming along to a French song while she cooks.

"What?"

"Harry resigned."

Mum stops, turning around. "What?" she repeats my statement.

"He got a job at Hogwarts as the Defense teacher."

Well. Maybe I was wrong.

Maybe I'm not the only one who sees Teddy.

…

"I don't want to go," he says.

I pause, lowering his half-folded shirt to his bed. "I don't want you to go," I answer.

"Everyone says I'll love it. That it's the start of the best years of my life. Is it wrong?"

"No," I say. "It's normal to be scared."

"I'm not scared," he says. "I just… have no interest."

"Really?"

"No."

He shakes his head and picks up a blanket, turning away so he can fold it properly. I fix the shirt and put it in his trunk.

We're going to Diagon Alley tomorrow. Everyone is. It'll be a nightmare.

I wish it were just me and Teddy.

…

"Here," Teddy says that night.

"What?"

He takes my hand and we go into his room. He shuts the door behind him.

"I want you to have this," he says.

He tugs his desk chair over to his closet and slides the door open. He gets on the chair and reaches for the top shelf of the closet. He tugs down a large box.

He hops off the chair and hands it to me. Pushes the chair back into the place. He takes the box back.

"Look," he says.

He tugs the lid off with some difficulty.

This is Andromeda's stuff. I recognize some of her old jewelry, pictures that used to hang in her house. There's a wind chime she had on the porch, and there's a pillow she had on her couch. Some old tea cup that's broken on the edge. Teddy frowns at that thoughtfully. Then he shakes his head and eventually pulls out a small box.

He holds it out to me. "I'm leaving in two days. Just in case we never got another chance to be alone."

I take the box and crack it open.

There's a necklace inside. I can tell that all of the diamonds are very, very real. The silver shines in the light of his lamp, making the diamonds even more sparkly. It's in the shape of a heart.

"My dad gave that to my mum, see?" he says, and turns the pendant over.

Sure enough, "To Tonks, love Remus," is written on the back.

"I want you to have it," Teddy says.

I look up at him. He takes the necklace out the rest of the way and shuffles behind me on his knees. I tug my hair out of the way. He clips it on and lets it fall. It rests in the center of my chest.

"Hide it, okay?" he mutters. "Harry said it's worth an awful lot, so he'd be mad if he saw you with it."

"Okay," I say, and stuff it under my shirt. "Thank you."

He kisses my cheek.

…

Teddy's wand is auburn, and it's got small zigzags on the bottom edge that go up about halfway. It had only taken a moment for the wand to be found; the light that shone from the tip of it was exactly the kind of signal the man was looking for. Harry paid.

I stick close to my mum, holding her hand. Daddy has Dom on his shoulders and Louis is holding his hand, and we trail after the Potters mostly in silence.

It's only when Harry directs Teddy to the pet shop that anything other than the wand becomes interesting.

I rush forward to take Teddy's hand immediately. I drag him to the back and point to the cat I saw a week ago when I was here. "It's just like yours," I say.

The kitten glances up at us with tired eyes. She's a precious little thing, with pale fur and a dark stripe down her spine and all over her tail. Teddy beams at her, pressing his hands to the glass. He slides his finger into one of the holes and the kitten moves toward him, rubbing her head against his finger. Teddy laughs in delight, turning to find Harry and Ginny right behind him.

"Hermione had a cat, too," Harry says.

Teddy laughs again and turns back to her.

The caretaker takes her out of the cage. She practically leaps at Teddy and even though we try, she refuses to dislodge herself from his shoulder.

Hermione hands Harry a receipt. He rolls his eyes.

They start arguing about the money and I just shrug at Teddy, who shrugs back.

"Do you want one?" Daddy asks me, nodding to Teddy's new kitten.

"Ooh, can I?"

Daddy nods, looking amused and resigned. "Dom just found an owl that hasn't stopped following us around and Louis picked a toad."

I make a face at the mention of the toad. "Gross," I say.

Teddy laughs at me. "You're ridiculous," he says. "It's just a toad."

"It's slimy!"

I get laughed at again.

"Whatever. Teddy, help me pick a kitty."

…

I have a black tabby in my arms when we get Teddy's books.

Teddy shoves the list of required books at his parents and disappears between the shelves. Naturally, I follow.

It's no surprise to me that he's looking through spell books. He's always been good at spells, even without a wand.

He gets six spell books in addition to his school books and Ginny looks exhausted.

…

We end the day at the ice cream parlor. The man behind the counter eyes our animals warily, but serves us anyway since we're the most famous family in the wizarding world and we never get denied anything.

Teddy and I get a table to ourselves.

"I'm gonna miss you," he says.

"I'll miss you, too. You'll write?"

"Obviously."

…

Ten thirty, and we're on the platform.

Ginny and Harry have cried themselves to death, apparently, especially Ginny.

"It's a bit ridiculous, actually," Teddy says.

"Well, she's losing you and her husband today," I point out.

"I guess," he agrees.

The whistle blows: the five minute warning.

Teddy sighs, standing. He tugs me into a hug, holding on too tight, but I don't mind. "I miss you already," he murmurs into my ear. "I can't wait until Christmas."

"Me neither."

"Time to go."

Harry is the one to help Teddy onto the train, and then the doors slide shut.

I run after it as far as I can, but the tunnel ends, and I'm alone.

…

Mum notices, of course. She probably knew this would happen.

I collapse onto my bed that night and start sobbing.

I've never bonded with my siblings especially well. They have each other. I had Teddy.

My cousins are foreign. I had Teddy.

Mum comes into my room with biscuits and tea. She places both on my bedside table and pulls me into her side. _"Je sais, ma cœur. Je suis désolée, ma cœur."_

_"Pourquoi, Mama? Je ne comprend pas."_

French is home.

She shakes her head. "We all grow up," she says.

I start to cry again.

…

Mum laughingly tells me a month later that I get more letters from Teddy than anyone else. It's making Harry and Ginny a bit jealous. I'm just smug about it.

Alone, I spend a lot of time in my room, mostly reading.

Teddy sends me recommendations for dozens of books that he reads in the library, which is apparently one of the best things about Hogwarts, so I read all of those and more.

I also repaint and get new décor for my room. I change the color to gold and base everything off of that.

The stars on my ceiling go away, and I hang photos on my walls instead. I get a desk and a smaller day bed that suits me fine. I get a bookshelf and a jewelry box.

I never take off the necklace, though.

It's during this time that I read about the boy and the paper cranes.

I tell Teddy, who sends me a paper crane that does not agree with my kitten, who I call Vincent. The crane struts around on my desk and amuses me but makes Vincent very upset indeed.

…

Christmas is spent at the Burrow, like always.

I get to see Teddy for the first time there, and I screech when I see him.

He looks alarmed until he sees me, then he beams and tugs me close.

"I'm going to place my bet right now: they'll be married," my uncle Ron says, laughing.

Daddy starts swearing at Ron, but Teddy and I leap apart, and that makes Ron laugh all the more.

It takes Teddy and I ten minutes before we can meet each other's eyes again, but that's alright, I guess. We sit next to each other at the dinner table like we always do and Teddy tells everyone all about Hogwarts.

He's got new friends. Adam and Hannah, who are also in Gryffindor and they all joke they ought to be Ravenclaws instead. Gryffindor is leading for House Points, and for Quidditch. Ron lets out a cheer when he hears this, and George shouts, "Excellent!"

Teddy goes on and on about his classes and his teachers besides Harry, and he says a lot about his classmates.

He'd been so worried.

It's making me excited.

…

Teddy and I each get new puzzles for Christmas and we spend the rest of the holiday putting them together in front of the fire. Albus eventually finds his way to us.

"Can I join you?" he asks, and Teddy nods enthusiastically.

I'm a bit bitter; Teddy and I do the puzzles, and this is not Albus' place.

But then I see him after we complete that one and realize he has no place anywhere with this family, so it might as well be with us.

…

Albus tags along with us a lot after that. He's shy and unusual. His sense of humor is very dry and he is smarter than I thought he was. He's got a constant air of malcontent, one that only ebbs when he's with Teddy and I.

We're in Teddy's room at Grimmauld Place. Albus is on the bed with one of Teddy's blankets over his shoulders, while Teddy and I are on the floor.

Albus is the only one who never teases us when we hold hands, so that's what we do while we watch a documentary on Egypt on the new tele that Harry bought Teddy for Christmas.

"What's that?"

"A secret tunnel," I say, not looking away from the screen.

"No, stupid. That."

Teddy and I glance up at Allie, then out the window where he's pointing.

"Oh!" Teddy says, scrambling up. "It's Hannah's owl."

"That's an owl?" Allie asks, clearly disgusted. It flies inside. "It doesn't look like an owl."

"No," Teddy agrees, laughing. "That's why she chose it."

The owl is a lot thinner than most, with a longer beak and a ton of dirt all over it. It is shameless as it lands right next to Allie, who shrieks and scuttles to the other side of the bed. I laugh at him and he scowls back at me, but only for a moment. The owl waltzes over to Allie again. Allie, in his haste, falls off the bed to get away. The owl hoots indignantly and flies out the window.

Teddy lets out an aborted yell but sighs, holding the letter loosely. "It wasn't going to hurt you, you ditz," he tells Allie.

Allie pops up from under the covers that fell with him, already scowling again. "It was filthy."

"That's ridiculous," Teddy says, then opens his letter.

Allie glances at me. I grin impishly at him and he looks even more irritated.

He's so easy to rile up.

"Hey, Vic," Teddy says.

"Hm?" I look away from Allie to Teddy, who looks up.

"Want to meet my friends?"

…

Jealousy is an awful thing.

Hannah and Adam are gloriously nice. I can see why Teddy likes them. And that's a problem.

We're at the ice cream parlor, and they're all laughing, and I'm sitting next to Teddy. It was an inside joke, apparently, dealing with something their teacher said about potions. I don't know. I don't get the joke.

Teddy turns to me, beaming, but it falters when he meets my eyes. I plaster on a smile but I know it's too late. He cocks his head to the side and stares, just for a moment.

"You said we could see your uncle?"

Adam is over the moon to be in Diagon Alley at all. He's Muggleborn, so he's only been here once, and hadn't been inside George and Ron's joke shop. Teddy nods and scrapes the rest of his ice cream - a mess of chocolate and peanut butter - into his mouth before he tosses the plastic bowl. "Com'on," he says. "It's this way."

I've been left at the joke shop while my parents go on dates, so there is less than nothing I don't know about it all. Adam lets out a gasp as soon as we get inside, eyes wide at the mass of warm colors and noises. It's all themed for Christmas, so there's sale signs all over. The place is packed with people. I can vaguely see my uncles on one of the higher floors, dealing with a customer who seems to be having issues with one of the candies.

It barely takes a moment before another one of George's associates gets to us. "How can I help you to- Oh! Ms. Weasley!"

"Hi, Phil," I say, watching as he glances behind me. His smile dims just a little.

"Is your mother with you?" he asks.

"No," I answer. "I'm with Teddy and his friends. Why don't you show us the ropes?"

Phil, while incredibly in love with my mother, isn't always stupid when he sees me. He snaps to attention immediately, seeming to understand that I'm testing him. "Of course," he says, his fake smile firmly in place, designed especially for patrons. "Let me show you George's latest creation, Ms. Weasley."

Andromeda was an old-fashioned woman at heart. She barely let Teddy into this shop. She always said it was a bad influence. So even Teddy is swept away by the charms this place has to offer.

Phil takes good care of them, as I knew he would. Lee threatens him on a fairly regular basis, and Phil is afraid of George, and Lee is George's best friend, so it all works out.

They're peering at replicas of baby dragons when George finds us.

"Hey, girly," he says, tugging me into his side. His arm is around my shoulders, and I automatically put mine around his waist. He grins down at me. "What brings you around? Fleur get tired of Bill again?"

I laugh. "No. Teddy's friends haven't been here before." I nod to them, cooing at the Hungarian Horntail that's blowing fire in their faces.

George snorts. "At least they have good taste," he says. "Now, what about you?"

"What about me?" I ask, looking back up into his eyes.

"You're never usually a foot away from Teddy. You alright?"

I shrug. "He's with his friends," I say.

"That is not what I asked," he retorts. "I can see that -"

"Sir?"

George stops speaking and turns slowly to face Phil with raised eyebrows. "Yeah?"

Phil is nervous. It's written all over his face. "The girl wants to know the price of these dragons," he says.

My uncle grins. "Varies. Which one do you want?" He lets go of me and steps forward to glance at the creatures inside.

Hannah points to a small, opal dragon with wide eyes. "Picked the most expensive one, girly," George says. "Fifty galleons."

Hannah's jaw drops. "What?" she asks. "Why?"

"Well, for one, it's a newly discovered breed. Two, these little guys aren't exactly easy to get a hold of. Three, I've only got a couple of them."

She blinks at him. "Right," she says. "Thank you."

George knows he's lost her, so he just smiles.

"Let's keep looking?" Adam suggests.

Hannah nods quickly and the two of them take off.

Teddy looks at me curiously, but I wave him away. He hesitates before he follows his friends.

"Here," George says, handing me candy. "You look like you need it."

"Thanks, George," I mutter. He smiles at me, light in his eyes.

"Of course, kiddo."

…

Teddy is mad at me.

I suppose I understand it. I wasn't very welcoming.

I don't spend much time at the Potters' that night, and just head home instead.

Daddy has decorated the house in whites and blues and reds, leaving out most of the green because he and Mum are both adverse to the color. I don't know why.

Dom and Louis are waiting for me when I get home. She waves me over. I frown, but sit next to her anyway, and we form a small circle in front of our tree.

"I had an idea," Dom announces. "I want your help."

"…okay? Since when do you want my help on anything?" I question.

She scowls at me. "You're my sister. Of course I want your help. It's not my fault you're never around."

Guilt strikes hard and fast. I lower my eyes, ashamed. I should be there for them, but I'm not.

I resolve to change that.

"What's your idea?" I ask.

Louis grins. "We wanted to make chocolate frog cards for Mum and Dad."

It's a very innocent idea. For some reason, I expected to be looped into something that would get us all into big trouble. I can live with this, though.

"Sure," I say. "How do you want to start?"

My siblings light up, and the guilt hits again. It's like they fully expected for me to blow them off. How can I blame them, though? I always have before.

"We wanted to use ribbons. We have these pieces of fabric, too. Grandma said she can help us stitch them together."

"Awesome," I agree. Dom takes out these sketches from her pocket and begins to talk to me about it in low tones, with Louis chiming in.

Hours go by. I eventually glance over my shoulder and see Mum. She's staring at us with the happiest look on her face. I grin at her, and she smiles back.

…

Teddy returns to Hogwarts before I can see him again.

We don't exchange letters that term, except for the gift I send him on his birthday.

…

He comes back over the summer and we go back to normal, like nothing ever happened. It's somewhat disconcerting, but I'm so glad to have him back at my side that I push the feeling away.

Vincent and his cat, May, run around us as we throw string at them, and we're just laughing. It feels good to laugh with Teddy again.

"I'm sorry about these past few months," he says eventually. I stop dangling the string in front of the cats to look at him. He shuffles on his feet. "I don't know what I was thinking."

"It's okay," I say. "Really. It's fine now."

I turn back to the cats, trying to ignore the twisting in my chest.

"Yeah?" he asks, hopeful. I nod. "Good. That - that's good."

I nod again, but we're quiet for a while.

…

I sit up with a harsh gasp, trying to push away the bloody images.

I haven't thought about that day in the park for ages. I try not to think about it; it hurt an awful lot.

I know what happened now. I don't want to admit it to myself.

"Vic? You okay?"

That's right. I fell asleep in the Potters' living room. Teddy is looking at me with concern.

"Fine," I manage. "I'm just fine."

"Bull," he mutters. "What's wrong? You're shaking."

I flinch when he tries to reach for me, and understanding, sad and hopeless, overcomes him. "You're thinking about the rape," he says, voice low enough that I can barely hear him. I shudder violently at the word and look away. "Vic… it's over now, you know that right? It's okay."

"Okay?" I huff. "Sure. Whatever, Teddy."

"Vic," he says. "Com'on. It was two years ago."

"That's not the sort of thing you forget," I murmur. "No matter how much time goes by."

He's quiet. So am I.

…

It haunts me constantly this summer. I don't know why it's suddenly an issue; I was fine before. I was.

I cling to Vincent most nights, but he doesn't mind. He's an overly affectionate creature anyway. He lulls me to sleep with his song and keeps me there.

My room is bigger than it was, so I go outside a lot. It tends to rain out here, but that's okay, honestly.

I stand in the shallows of the beach and breathe. It turn my face to the wind and tug the pins from my hair, wrestling with it a bit. I stuff each one in my pocket and count out nearly sixty of them. My white blonde hair falls to my waist in messy waves, tangled by the force of the wind. The ocean laps at my ankles.

My slippers are on the sand behind me, doubtlessly full of the grit. I don't really care.

The air is cold, unusually so for summer. I wrap my arms around myself and shiver slightly, stepping further into the water.

It's starting to soak my shorts, the drops that are forced from the collective hitting my clothes and my face. The water is warm. I'm in love.

"Victoire!"

Mum calls me from the porch. I turn around, just enough to see her dress and her hair waving with the wind, too. She waves at me. Her next words are lost.

I turn back to the ocean.

…

My grandma tugs me aside one weekend while I'm sleeping over at the Burrow.

"Here, dear. Help me make this cake."

"Okay," I agree, reaching for the flour and pouring some onto the counter, the way I've seen her do a thousand times. "Why are we making a cake?"

"Why not?" she asks.

I shrug.

Grandma uses magic when cooking most of the time. But she's not doing that now. She sets her wand on the table in the other room and leaves it there. We do everything by hand: whisking the batter, cleaning the dishes.

"You're quiet," she observes.

It's a sentence I've heard a lot lately. "What's to say?" I ask.

"How about any new adventures with Teddy?" is the suggestion.

"I haven't seen Teddy in nearly three weeks," I confess. "I've been at home." I perk up slightly when I remember. "Dom showed me how to make jewelry. We've been making necklaces and earrings."

Grandma looks concerned about my comment about Teddy, but brightens when I mention Dom. "That's wonderful," she says. "I'd like to see it."

I nod eagerly, brushing aside my hair to pull my earrings out.

We went hunting for seashells two days ago. When we came back inside, we shattered them and used the chips to make the jewelry. I have two sets; one primarily is white, and the other is pink. Grandma smiles at them when she takes them, turning them over in her hands. "They're beautiful, Vic," she compliments.

"Thanks," I say.

"Can I ask why you haven't seen Teddy lately?"

I sigh and turn back to the frosting we've been working with. "Just haven't. He's been hanging out with his Hogwarts friends, I think."

She nods, pouring the cake batter into a pan and scraping it out of the bowl. "Have you even been speaking, dear?"

"No," I admit. "I don't know why."

…

I go home. I find the paper crane that Teddy sent and set it back on my desk. I'd put it away some time ago, stuffing it in my bedside table drawer so I couldn't see it. It shakes a bit and starts walking. Vincent starts when it gets close to him, yowling. He jumps onto my shoulder from his spot on the desk.

I reach up to pat him absently and watch the paper. It flaps its wings and turns back around.

Decision made, I yank open my desk drawer and shuffle through the stuff I've been making with Dom. I locate the letters from Teddy at the bottom. Pulling them out, I sit down and start folding.

…

It's not a thousand. Not even close. A hundred, maybe. They're a haphazard bunch, the writing all over the parchment making each of them different and then I'm not very good at folding things to begin with. But I know what they are and anyone who looks would know too. They don't move like Teddy's does. But I don't have a wand or any spells. I might enchant them later.

…

I next see Teddy at Harry's birthday.

We spend a lot of our time sitting on the couch next to each other, catching up. He tells me about his new Quidditch supplies. I'm surprised; he's never cared about sports before. We used to roll our eyes whenever the subject came up, but now he seems so excited.

"I might try out for the team," he says. "I'm pretty good at flying."

"Oh yeah?" I ask. "What position?"

"Chaser, maybe," he says, rolling his eyes back to think. His hair turns from pink to blue, right before my eyes. It's amazing to watch; it just kind of shifts, starting from the front going to the back. "Keeper sounds boring and Seeker too hard."

"I see," is my response. I have no idea what he's talking about.

"Adam's going to try out with me as a Beater. Says he thinks it would be so much fun to blatantly send harmful objects at other people."

"Oh, yes, riveting."

Teddy sends me a dry look. "What's up with you?"

"Teddy," I say helplessly. "You and I never cared about Quidditch. I don't know what you're going on about."

Realization dawns. "You want me to show you?"

No, not really. "Sure."

The smile that dawns is worth the doubtlessly boring lesson that's about to ensue.

…

My Hogwarts letter comes next.

Daddy presents it to me with a flourish, looking very proud.

I get a letter from Beauxbatons a day later. Mum is baffled and proud all at once.

I genuinely consider it. I imagine spending the next decade mostly in France, on the campus that is said to be as beautiful as it is cold. Speaking French all the time and learning French spells as opposed to English ones. I imagine myself in a baby blue uniform and as the perfect reflection of my mother. I think about it for days.

I look at the pictures of my mum. I hang one in the corner of my mirror and use it as guide for my hair. It's a complicated style; lots of braiding and pinning. I look just like her when it's done. It's like I have no Weasley blood at all.

Mum knocks on the door and lets out a fond noise. "Ma coeur," she whispers, wrapping her arms around my shoulders. "I know you," she says next, resting her chin on my shoulder. "You would be la Cherie de Beauxbatons. But you would not be happy."

I meet her eyes in our reflection.

…

I ultimately choose Hogwarts. I don't want to live in France, not when everyone I know lives here.

My trip to Diagon Alley is a quiet affair. It's just my parents and my siblings.

I can't say I mind, really.

My wand is beautiful. It's quite long, made from aspen and dragon heartstring. It's everything I could've wanted. We stop by the pet shop for supplies to make sure Vincent can make the trip to Hogwarts and get my books next. I don't get anything extra or anything extravagant even though I know I wouldn't be denied. I don't see much of a point for it.

Teddy stops by the next day, surprising everyone. Mum leads him to my room and closes it behind him.

He sees my wand on my bed and my new robes, books, and trunk. His face shatters.

"You went without me?" he asks, sounding heartbroken. "I thought -"

"What?" I ask when it appears he won't continue. I stare at him blankly, trying to understand why he's here now.

"When I thought about you getting your wand." He stops, licks his lips, then tries again. "When I thought about it, I was right next to you."

I avert my eyes, looking instead toward my wand. I lean over and grab it, twirling it absently. "No one else was there," I murmur. "Just Mum and Daddy and Louis and Dom."

"Why?"

I gesture, helpless. "I haven't left the house much lately. There didn't seem to be a point."

"You're the oldest," he says, bitter. "You're actually a part of this family and you -"

He cuts himself off, clenching his jaw, looking at his feet and shuffling.

I sigh. "Why did you come here, Teddy?"

He looks up. "I can't come see my best friend?" he asks.

Best friend? Are we really, I wonder.

"Sure," I say.

We're silent, any friendly atmosphere absent. It's more than a little awful.

He sits on the edge of my bed. Vincent wanders over, nudging Teddy's hand with his head. Teddy pats him automatically, looking at me.

"What are you doing, since you haven't gone anywhere?" he asks eventually.

I shrug, crawling over to my closet and pushing it open, pulling out my jewelry making tools. "Dom and I have been making stuff," I say. Teddy sits next to me without prompt.

…

I'm at the water's edge again, sitting in it with no regard to my clothes.

Nothing I've done has been able to wash away the feeling of that man's hands on my body. It's stupid. It's been years, like Teddy said.

I shiver.

I feel as though I'll never escape it. I don't want to grow up anymore. I wish I were as innocent as I was.

I bury my face between my knees and tug them closer to my chest, curling my toes into the wet sand of the shallows. The sea laps at my skin and the salt makes me feel a little better.

I don't know what I'm going to do in a week's time. Hogwarts has no ocean and the lake is fresh water.

I stand and wade further into the water, dipping below the surface.

It's not a pretty ocean. The water is freezing. There's so much seaweed. The sand is black. The stones are gray. I swim out further, my hair surrounding me. I shove it out of the way and stare at the ocean floor.

I jerk when something brushes my foot. It's just seaweed, but I'm unnerved, my tranquility broken.

I head up for air. Shoving my hair out of my face is more of a challenge than it should be. The only solution is to cut it. I wanted to, once. Teddy said he liked it long so I've never cut it except for an inch at a time before.

I twirl it between my fingers.

…

"Victoire," Mum breathes. Daddy stares at me, a knowing smile on his lips. Louis and Dom seem too shocked to do anything.

It's amazing how much lighter my head feels. I used a kitchen knife and cut it to my shoulders. Some part of me regrets it deeply, but the rest of me knows it was the right thing to do.

…

My parents let me keep it jagged instead of taking me to the hairdresser to even out the edges.

I sit in my room now. We leave for King's Cross Station in ten minutes.

My trunk is packed, but it's open on my bed. I'm clutching tightly to Vincent. Mum knocks and opens the door when I say to come in. "Victoire?" she asks. She walks up behind me and kisses my head. "We have to go."

I nod. I move blankly to put Vincent in the cat carrier, which he doesn't appreciate. I lift the blanket that I wasn't going to take from my bed and put it in there with him. I lock it. Mum reaches over and takes his cage, walking out.

I turn to my desk.

The drawer has all of the paper cranes. The ones I finished recently are better than the earlier ones. I pick them all up and put them in one of the pockets of my trunk. I put Teddy's in a different pocket and shut the lid.

**Author's Note:**

> Send me your thoughts.  
> .  
> French translations:  
> "Je sais, ma cœur. Je suis désolée, ma cœur."  
> "Pourquoi, Mama? Je ne comprend pas."  
> I know, my heart. I am sorry, my heart.  
> Why, Mama? I don't understand.


End file.
